SheepFluffer.com

Question: What sounds good for dinner??? Any suggestions? I cant decide and i need your help please!

Answer: fried chicken mashed potatoes and biscuits

I’ll add watermelon and kool-aid to that and make it a quad-fecta!

Fuck work, man! I had to work overnight this week, from like 6am to 6pm. So on Friday, I go to work at like 5pm, and shit happens, so I don’t get off until 8:30am! Yeah, fucking 15.5 Hours straight. Shitty thing was, I haven’t really adjusted to the schedule, so when I got home I was fucking exhausted. I slept two fucking hours.

I had a charity Poker Tournament that night for some slut single mom, and most of the SheepFluffer crew was going. So I end up going to this fucking event bomb ass tired. I mean fuck, I can’t even feel my legs, I’m that fucking tired. So after limping along for two hours, I finally get tired enough, and just lose so I can go to sleep.

But now that I’m in fucking bed, I can’t fall asleep, so I hop onto Yahoo, and I’m just poking around. Then I find some slut that lives close, so fuck being tired, I’m awake now. I talk to this chick for like 15 minutes, before I asked her “Are you in the mood to suck a stranger off tonight?”, which of course she say’s “HELL YES!” to.
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One of my favorite past times is finding the most fucked up, vile, and perverted women I can possibly find. Once I get bored of these, I usually give the phone to Spaz to have a little fun with. Here’s the fun with one I got bored with:

Me::Not much just sitting at work… What are you up to?
Kizzie:: Sittin in the eye docs with my gpa he has an apt then gotta go 2 hellmart
Me:: Huh well thats boring… What would you rather be doing?
Kizzie:: @ ur place waiting 4 u…maken sure everything is clean and ready 4 u when u cum hoMe:
Me:: Huh I would rather you have my dick in your mouth…
Kizzie:: Well that wld b happening 4 deff sure daddy
Me:: How about a collar and leash… I could lead you around the house and watch you clean
Kizzie:: Now that might b fun
Me:: How about a whip? Just in case you don’t do soMe:thing right…
Kizzie:: Oh fuck yes
Me:: What is your wildest fantasy?
Kizzie:: Idk nvr really thought of it…
Me:: So I have this cow fetish would you wear a cow costuMe:
Kizzie:: Hmmm?
Me:: CoMe: on baby… It’s what would make Me: happy
Kizzie:: I’d think bout it
Me:: Well you at least moo for Me:?
Kizzie:: Moo moo
Me:: How do you feel about golden showers?
Kizzie:: Love em
Me:: Where?
Kizzie:: My stomach my back my tits…possibly my face
Me:: Would you drink it?
Kizzie:: I would atleast try it…can’t say u dnt like sumthng if uve nvr tried it
Me::How about soMe: friends of mine….
Kizzie::Let them piss on Me:?
Me: Well yeah that or a gang bang?
Kizzie:: Yea I prob wld. But not without u being there…I wldnt want sumthng like tha…
Me: Well I would be there for the action… Are you in the bathroom thinking about Me:?
Kizzie: No in the waitn room…watchn this kid run all over the place while his mom i…
Me: I want you to check how wet you are…
Kizzie: I’m still on my period babe…
Me: You have two other holes available… I want to fuck your ass till you bleed
Kizzie: Omg damn babe.
Me: You wouldnt do that for your daddy
Kizzie: Yes I would….
Me: Can my wife watch??
Kizzie: What?
Me: Shes cool with it she loves participating
Kizzie: Sorry…if ur married. This is. Waste of tiMe:..not dealin with that shit
Me: Im just kidding I was just wondering if you would do girl on girl…
Kizzie: I have b4 with my best friend.
Me: That would work… Would she dress up as a sheep… I like barnyard theMe:s
Kizzie: Umm no she’s not into all the saMe: stuff as Me:…
Me:Do have anybody that would??
Kizzie: No I dnt daddy. I’m sry
Me: Would you dress like a penguin? The black and white get Me: off
Kizzie: ? Idk. Funny my kitchen is decorated in black n white cows
Me: Are you on the pill?
Kizzie: Yes
Me: Do you shave??
Kizzie: Bald
Me: Can I kick you in the cooch and video tape it
Kizzie: Fuck no.
Me: Do you like hot wax?
Kizzie: I wanna try it…
Me: Tell Me: the dirtiest thing on your mind…
Kizzie: I dnt hve anything…I’m really not happy with my grp right now….
Me: Talk dirty to daddy or else…
Kizzie: Or else what?
Me: Or else fuckoff I told you my fantasy
Kizzie: Look I dnt talk bout sex in front of my gpa that’s not how I was raised…
Me: So were you raised to be nasty…
Kizzie: No. I pickd that up besides my gpa doenst nd 2 knw bout my personal life till…
Me: So you would you tell him about you dressing up like a cow and Me: pissing on you
Kizzie: Fuck no
Me: Well thats boring
Kizzie: Well I’m sry…I’ve got more repsect 4 my gpa then that…he dnt even knw I’m on birth control

Moo, Moo…that’s all I have to fucking say.

I have the day off to remember some sacrifices someone made today. I slept in until noon, then decided I had to grab something to eat to starve off the hunger pains I was feeling. On a side note,let me tell you kiddies, trying anorexia as a 280lb fat ass only lasts 10 hours tops. Anyhow, I called everything with a vagina to see if they wanted to grab some lunch. Most were working, and the handful that weren’t don’t allow themselves to hang out with me unless their cunts are oozing their monthly allotment of period blood. In short, I was fucked, and had no friends to hang out with.

But a great idea popped into my head: Call the ex! My ex is a worthless pile of human being, constantly broke, and constantly hungry because her $200 in food stamps can only feed her for a week. So I figured I’d get some company, and maybe get Mr. Barrack Obama (AKA My cock) sucked. So I whipped out my phone, and called her up. No fucking answer! This is unacceptable! So I called back again, and she answered:

Me: Hey, whats up?
Her: (Grunts) I can’t talk right now….
Me: Uhh…are you being fucked? (Unzips pants)
Her: (Grunts)Uhh…(Moans)….I can’t talk right now….
Me: Who is it, you little fucking slut?
Her: Nobody….(Orgasms)….Talk to you later. (CLICK)

Greaat. So not only did I have to go alone to lunch, I also had to listen to My ex being fucked at noon. Sometimes I wish I was poor and had no motivation so I could spend my entire life sitting at home, eating off of food stamps, and having all the unprotected anal and vaginal sex I desire. Welfare must be grand!

Dude,

So we haven’t blogged here in like a month since we’ve been too coked out on low-grade baking soda to formulate complete sentences. Baking soda, DOES NOT FEEL GOOD WHEN INHALED. Anyhow, I disgress. While checking the site logs, I noticed an interesting thing, we have our first true link! And lo and behold, it’s atheiests, MY PEOPLE!

Stop by and check it out kids:
Rational Responders

We’re pretty tolerant of pretty  much anything here.  I mean, the sky’s the limit.  We’ve got chicks with hand fetishes, Indians, and fag-haters.  Essentially we’re just one big huge happy family of debauchery and mortal turbidity.  But one thing we love more than posting fucked up posts and stories about our daily lives is seeing how other people find our site.  Check out this snip of some of our search results from a few days ago:

• you tube dick in a box furries
• jerk off upside down
• fuckbuddy dogs
• anal fags
• jamieblack porn

I can understand wanting to watch Dick In a Box staring a bunch of cute,cuddly wolfs.  I can’t understand the allure of jacking off upside down.  Personally, when I ejaculate, I prefer it to be in a sock or a tissue.  You see, seamen does wonders for the skin.  Helps with athlete’s foot—a lot!  Perhaps the weird guy who search for “fuckbuddy dogs” was simply looking for a nice piece of ass who has a nice dalmation he can fantasize about as well.  We all know fags love anal, so that’s self-explainitory as well.   But who the fuck is Jamie Black?  Why the fuck do I want to see her (or fuck, maybe his?) porn?  More so ever, how the fuck do we score as a hit on someone I’ve never fucking heard of.

A friend of mine tuned me into this crazy growing phenomenon of hardcore Christians getting into hardcore BDSM.  Nothing quite says “PRAISE JESUS!” quite like tying your wife up, flogging her senseless, and then sticking your pulsing manhood into her dry vagina, and dry humping for ten seconds.  These people however, justify, what they’re doing via biblical scriptures.  And I found out it isn’t just BDSM…it’s everything.   Take this gem for example.

Fisting and Gods Will…

Then He said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and observe My hands. Reach out your hand and put it into My side. Don’t be an unbeliever, but a believer.” (John 20:27)

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I’m driving down the highway today and see some faggot from Kansas with the McLovin license plate from Superbad.  I mean, this was cool like 2 years ago, but why the fuck do we need one now?  More so ever, doesn’t Kansas employ some sort of employee that looks over these things?

As far as I could tell from passing this fuck, he’s also a Steve Austin wannabe.  Or perhaps Steve Austin himself, that guy could be down to a Corolla car by now.  Or perhaps Stone Cold really likes movies about under-age drinkers, which leads us to the conclusion he may in fact be a closet pedophile.  Pedophile’s like children.  Children starts with the letter “C” as does Corolla.  Ergo, a Corolla is a pedo-mobile.

I think we’re on to something here.

I’m not getting lucky on Yahoo like I have been in the past.   Pretty tame shit, except for some chick who doesn’t like whites.

whitey_the_cock_18: whats up Kendra
sweetnsassyntx1984: not 2 much how are u?
whitey_the_cock_18: bored
whitey_the_cock_18: how old are you?
sweetnsassyntx1984: 30 u?
whitey_the_cock_18: 33
whitey_the_cock_18: texas huh?
sweetnsassyntx1984: yes
sweetnsassyntx1984: where r u from?
whitey_the_cock_18: Iowa
sweetnsassyntx1984: i used to live in illinois
whitey_the_cock_18: nice?
sweetnsassyntx1984: yeah lived there til i was 15
whitey_the_cock_18: cool
whitey_the_cock_18: I’m fucking horny
sweetnsassyntx1984: im kendra
whitey_the_cock_18: I’m black
sweetnsassyntx1984: im white
whitey_the_cock_18: I should be in you
sweetnsassyntx1984: u think so
whitey_the_cock_18: dont you?
whitey_the_cock_18: lol
whitey_the_cock_18: are you shy or something?
sweetnsassyntx1984: sometimes
whitey_the_cock_18: ….you do like black cock right?
sweetnsassyntx1984: yeah
whitey_the_cock_18: over whites?
sweetnsassyntx1984: never been with a white guy
whitey_the_cock_18: mmm
whitey_the_cock_18: nice
sweetnsassyntx1984: lolo
whitey_the_cock_18: sub slut I assume?
sweetnsassyntx1984: fuck u
whitey_the_cock_18: now you’re talking dirty to me baby.
sweetnsassyntx1984 has closed photo sharing.
whitey_the_cock_18: probably a lesbian anyhow.  Enjoy your tuna, dyke.

What’s up My Negus? (I can get away with that.  Not because I’m black, but because it’s actually used formerly as the title for the Emperor of Ethiopia.)

It’s been a slow night at the fluff here.   I got stood up by an amputee chick.  I guess it doesn’t help I talked about wanting to stroke and fondle her stub.  Anyhow, tonight was very lonely indeed.   I hate being alone.

So after my 21st jack off session, I decided to blow some time on YouTube.  Naturally, I first looked for “amputee porn”, but I couldn’t find any on YouTube.  So I searched for the next best thing: “Dicks in Boxes”.    What I found friends was comedic gold!

Everyone remember The Lonely Islands smash hit a few years ago called My Dick in a Box?  Well as a fucking side note, it turns out women don’t really like seeing dicks in boxes, and happen to call the police if you do indeed try it.  I’d love to talk more about it, but the terms of my parole prevent me from doing so (as well as being with 3000 feet of a school, but meh).

We here at Sheep Fluffer are very fond of nature.  Fuck, we’re cat lovers at heart.   But we can’t tolerate folks is FURRIES.   Yes, those pathetic fucks who dress up as animals and participate in orgies and gangbangs.   Your life totally isn’t complete until you’ve seen Sally the Cat in a kitty bukkake with 20 other ugly men dressed up as lions and tigers.   It’s something everyone should see in their life at least once.

Back to dicks that may or may not have boxes in them.   It seems a few furries got together to make a video a few years ago.   And like most unattractive, acne-riddened high schoolers, they tried to put dicks in boxes—while wearing cat suits.   The result is fucking amazing.   Spread this around.  Let everyone experience the joy that is fur.

And next time you see some pathetic soul dressed up as a lion, do the right thing, and feed him raw beef.  It will help him fit in better.  Fuck, Sally the Cat might even yelp him when she sees him covered in raw meat.  But until that time, enjoy this fucked up YouTube video:

Sheep were harmed in the making of this film.