Yes, it was THIS shitty.

So losing your virginity is supposed to be a special night with the one you love but anymore for most its in the back of a buick listening to some crappy song and forgetting the whole thing in the morning. Or you could be me…

The night I lost my virginity was not special or with the one I love or for that matter it wasn’t in a buick.

I was in highschool and living with my parents. I thought they were going to a party and that meant they were going to be gone all night. So we go into my bedroom and try to decide what to do next and since neither had actually gone “all the way before” I figured we would start with foreplay. I wasn’t bad at giving a blow job but I don’t think he had any clue what he was doing! So we gave up on the foreplay after like 5 minutes and decided to go right to the sex. It was the most horrible thing ever! It took like 2 minutes and it wasn’t me! I forgave him and decided to give him a second chance. But before we could get to far I heard a noise. By the way my bedroom was in the basement and I figured it was just my brothers fucking around upstairs. Turns out it was my parents. So they come down stairs and called my name. I freak out and throw the guy off me onto the floor. Which of course they heard and found out we were in the bedroom.

So my dad walks in turns on the light and see’s me in the bed all covered up and the guy on the floor trying to find his clothes with his junk all hanging out. My dad grabs him and his clothes and proceeds to threaten him while walking him out of the house.

I’m of course in my bedroom freaking out wondering how much trouble I am going to be in and if they could pull off killing me. I hear my dad come back down and into my room he comes and asks me to come upstairs. So as I do the walk of shame up the stairs I see my mom smiling when dad isn’t looking. After I get the ass chewing of my life from my dad I go back to my room.

My mom comes down and knocks on my door. She comes in and the only thing she could say was “How was it?” I couldn’t believe it! I told her how awful it was and that I would have had more fun with a shower head. She laughed and told me that it only gets better from here and then tells me about her first time in the back if a buick with my real dad.  The only difference was she got pregnant with me.

As for the loser that was never any better in bed from then on out was terrified to even come to my house. I guess my dad threatened to actually kill him. That was the first but not the last!

So for all you virgins out there don’t get caught! It sucks!