So a couple weekends ago my good friends, bobosan, uncle upright and I, decided that we were going to go out for a night on the town.

It started off well we went out of town so that we wouldn’t know anyone just in case. Bobosan and I were wanting to find midgets (sorry little people) because that is something on my bucket list… Who doesn’t want to fuck a midget!

So we start off with dinner because I was with the 235 pound anorexic who off course was starving. We decided to go to a hibachi grill which was good. We had sushi and a show. I decided on scallops and shrimp which later in the story might have been a bad idea. The only thing I hate about those places is that you end up sitting with a bunch of people that you don’t know… We sat with two lesbians ( I think) one of which was fat and ugly with nasty tattoos on her tits the other was obviously the man in the relationship and either a mother with two kids or a mom and boyfriend and a kid… We weren’t sure. The guy was probably in his 20′s and I think would have rather been with us than a woman who was in her 40′s and a kid who was like 11 with his gay Justin Beiber hair eating food off the table.

So after dinner we decided to go bowling which we all suck at but as we proceed to get drunk we think we are good. Turns out we were getting beat by a six year old. I loved the guy and girl next to us who I am assuming were on a date. She was in a little plaid skirt and a sweater which would have been cute except she was 300 pounds and the guy was wearing the dirtiest clothes he could possibly find and I an assuming hadn’t taken a shower in 3 months. So we gave that up and decided to play pool.  Which we suck at that to!  But we were just there to get wasted.

So after that we decide to go to the casino, which was a really bad idea, I had no cash on me so I go to the atm and pull out 100 out of my account. Bad idea! But at least I didn’t lose all of it like my buddy bobosan! Actually I was ahead for a little bit and walked out with as much as I brought in! Which was nothing damnit!

So after about thirty minutes which was what I took to lose my money we decided that the night had come to an end and it was time to go home. We still had a two hour drive home and I was wasted!  So we get out if the parking lot and a little ways down the highway and I decide that I have to vomit! So we stop on the side of the highway so that I can throw up alcohol, shrimp, scallops, and sushi! It was the nastiest thing ever!! So as I am throwing up on the highway a cop decides to pull up which freaked me out! Luckily I wasn’t driving and uncle upright was and even though he drinks he doesn’t seem to ever be drunk.

So this cop gets out and asks if everything is okay and my smart mouth decided to say yeah sushi, shrimp, and scallops are great to throw up!  And then I proceed to throw up on the cops shoes! I pretty much ignore the whole thing and get back in the car. Uncle upright had to explain my situation. Then if course gets asked if he had been drinking gets the finger test and luckily gets out of that. After that I passed out and don’t remember anything!

Unfortunately we didn’t find our midgets like we wanted and almost went to jail but it was a good night all in all!