As many of you probably don’t know…. I like to fill much of my free time with softball. If you think that’s gay, then fuck you. Tell me one thing that’s gay about ten grown men running around a big field chasing balls and slapping each other on the ass saying “good game”. Go ahead… tell me. If you like, you can come out and tell us all in person. Keep in mind though, we carry big sticks and look for every opportunity to hit somebody in the mouth with them.

We play in the top league in our city on Wednesday nights. Wednesday nights are generally the nights the highly competitive teams choose to play. With that being said… I keep asking myself how we won our first game 29-2 (those 2 runs were given to that poor team since we felt so bad for the raping we had given them) and our second game 39-1 (that one run came from a freak homerun some 5’5″ 120 pound kid hit). I don’t know if my team is just that good or if we mistakenly ended up in a league meant for the mentally challenged… I don’t recall seeing any overly large foreheads so that pretty much narrows it down.

Is it too much to ask for a little competition? We would love to play a full game instead of run ruling every team in the third inning. You might ask yourself…. why don’t you just let them score some runs and keep the game going. The answer is simple. We are playing retards. I was wrong. We may as well have been batting and playing the field blindfolded. We fucking tried. I bet it took ten minutes to give the first team those two runs. They were absolutely horrible. I guess thats to be expected playing against the retarded folk. I would guess it’s pretty hard to get 10 of these less fortunate athletes to play together as a team. They generally spend most of there time in their back yard playing with their invisible friends and eating grass.

I guess the one thing we’ve got going for us is that spring league is almost over. Maybe summer league will bring more competitive teams. With my luck though, we’ll probably end up playing a team full of amputees. Don’t get me wrong… I’m not saying that we’re better because we’re not retards or amputees… actually, yes I am. Don’t take that the wrong way now… reatards and amputees have every right to do the same things that I do. Just not with me. I’m not retarded, nor am I missing an arm and or leg. Go ahead… tell me I’m a dick. I know you want to. I’m just telling you how I feel. If you play softball on Wednesday nights and you’re retarded, an aputee or a retarded amputee… find another fucking night to play on. If you don’t, expect your oversized foreheads to become a target for us while we are batting. We won’t miss.

Ok…I’m gonna let it go now before I say something that might offend somebody. Thanks for caring about how I feel. It means alot to me.