Today…I hate Mexicans.  They are stupid, poor, slovenly (that means untidy/sloppy for our uneducated readers) drunkards.  Mexicans refuse to learn English and they steal everything from welfare to jobs.  Their feet and breath both smell inexplicably of sour cream, and they lack manners.  They’re short, have crooked teeth and black souls. 

Mexicans are lazy, yet they work too hard.  They’re brown, yet they suck at soccer.  They are the shame of the Latin world.  They come packed by the hundreds in one little mini van or Toyota Corolla and get into this country illegally.  They revere and worshio the most infamous slut in history, The Virgin Mary.

You might be asking yourself, where is good ‘ol Uncle Upright going with this?  I’ll tell you where I’m going with this.  I have created a new virus.  The “Mexican” Swine Flu.  I created and named this virus “Meican Swine Flu” just so you will get to hear everyone saying Mexican Swine for the next six months, and for other obvious reasons. 

The glory of the Mexican Swine Flu is that it only kills Mexicans, because they’re the only ones dumb enough to die from it.  It’s not a strong virus.  Every other race of people is smart enough to get lot’s of sleep and eat plenty of chicken soup until they get better.  But not Mexicans.  Nope.  No matter how sick they get they just keep eating taco’s & burrito’s and drinking tequila until they fall down dead in a pool of their own vomit & salsa.  It will be so much fun to watch. 

Soon enought all the Mexican’s will be wiped out.  Don’t just rely on me though…. You can do your part by hitting a bunch of them with your SUV.  The Home Depot would be an excellent starting point if you’re looking for them….